Drowning in Love - Oxlip

DROWNING IN LOVE

Sink until it consumes you, or get out before you’re too far gone? ...Oxlip explores the poignant themes in W. H. Auden’s The More Loving One

To love is to give. But to what extent? Do you give as much as you get, or do you sacrifice yourself to the point of self destruction, willingly oblivious to your loved one’s indifference? Unrequited love is a chasm of pain, of guilt, of heartbreak, that both parties can’t escape from. W. H. Auden’s The More Loving One gives a profound insight into unreciprocated feelings and the heart-rending side of love.

How did he do it?

Auden develops an extended metaphor of the stars as lovers throughout the emotional poem. The opening line shows a rather cliche romantic scene with him “looking up at the stars”. He then states paradoxically, “that, for all they care, I could go to hell”, bluntly painting the reality of unreciprocated love.

A question is then posed regarding the receiving side: “How should we like it were stars to burn/ With a passion for us, we could not return?”. Auden expresses his choice, “If equal affection cannot be/ Let the more loving one be me”, and shows that he’d rather be in this pain than see his loved one suffering like he did. This is a true reflection on the perspectives of those stuck in unrequited love.

The poem goes on to describe his futile attempt at convincing himself that there are more choices, and his dismal contemplation of a life without his loved one, thus illustrating his struggle of dependence on the unreciprocated feelings.

Conclusion

In the name of love, one chooses to tear themselves up in pursuit of an unattainable dream. In the name of choice, another chooses to turn a blind eye to the steadfast devotion, guilt-ridden over the heartache they’ve caused.

In the name of love, Auden chooses to be consumed by the bitter blissfulness. And someday, he will learn to live without it, “though this might take (him) a little time”.